yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
