I can text with my tongue
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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