I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
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