I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
