member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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