Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
