On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I lost the right to judge tonight
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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