fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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