we have pet lesbian snakes
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Duck Duck Cougar?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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