i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
