brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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