I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
