the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
