I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
