why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
