i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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