Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
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When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
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I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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