you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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