omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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