Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
