Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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