She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im holly from the hills drunk
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
