hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
