The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
