remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
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