Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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