Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize