Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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