just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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