Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
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Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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