ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
party gras won. party gras always wins.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
