my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
