i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
