I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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