I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize