pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
