She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize