I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
