I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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