Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize