i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
how can u be prego again
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
