Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(913): View more from Kansas

very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(913): very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute. http://tfl.nu/bjrt

Replies (11) Good night (491) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier. http://tfl.nu/ogdc

Replies (88) Good night (7257) Bad night (1235) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(469): View more from Texas

Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(469): Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think. http://tfl.nu/hmzv

Replies (12) Good night (819) Bad night (4115) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(647): View more from Ontario

Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(647): Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer. http://tfl.nu/62rw

Replies (14) Good night (3301) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(416): View more from Toronto

Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(416): Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements. http://tfl.nu/qg9u

Replies (9) Good night (4824) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you. http://tfl.nu/abkv

Replies (15) Good night (833) Bad night (3336) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(910): View more from North Carolina

Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(910): Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job. http://tfl.nu/jru8

Replies (6) Good night (3066) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(518): View more from New York

He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(518): He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong. http://tfl.nu/r133

Replies (2) Good night (1203) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(870): View more from Arkansas

To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(870): To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical. http://tfl.nu/vs7y

Replies (4) Good night (2718) Bad night (578)
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now. http://tfl.nu/1l2n

Replies (8) Good night (1799) Bad night (1186) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(518): View more from New York

Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(518): Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk. http://tfl.nu/lrcf

Replies (4) Good night (975) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right http://tfl.nu/qcjq

Replies (7) Good night (1614) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things http://tfl.nu/ht36

Replies (9) Good night (948) Bad night (381) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober. http://tfl.nu/q7n9

Replies (7) Good night (747) Bad night (274) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come. http://tfl.nu/a9r3

Replies (0) Good night (560) Bad night (161)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: