this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?