I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
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For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
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So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.