Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
