i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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