DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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