Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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