Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
