we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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