I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Success! We fucked roommates!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
