My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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