I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
