so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
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An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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