I haven't been this sober since birth.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.