i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
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I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
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I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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