At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
