i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
