Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
