He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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