i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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