i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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