Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
