He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He better not be in your backpack
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
