tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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